You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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