There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
are you so shy because you have an std?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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