she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
