Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
