nut hugger
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
