You can't special order awesome
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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