He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
