i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
