just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
