You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
