Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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