Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
