Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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