sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
