Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
