dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
