He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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