This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
