I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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