He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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