Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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