she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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