If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Ladies don't puke and tell
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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