It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
