ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize