Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
