I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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