DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
ugly people sure do ruin things
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
