you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
