How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
