A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
