I just made out with a guy for $7.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
two words...techno handjob
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
