If that was your dad, he is hot
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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