u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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