I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
