That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the day after is always just damage control
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
