He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
