I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize