she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She told me I should be a condom model.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
