Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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