I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
