spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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