Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
