Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
