And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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