I hope mine doesn't look like that
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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