I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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