UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
