Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
