he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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