I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
