elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
