five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We got so high we made milksteak
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
