I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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