I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
