he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
