Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
