No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
