is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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