no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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