you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
